You know what time it isssss! 🥳 The Summer 🍉 Farmhouse Consulting Sessions are now OPEN for booking. It's the one time of year when I open my calendar through December, and we jam together on your business! (Whilst I show you around the farmhouse, obviously.) This year, we're rocking the following format: 2-hour sprint sessions so we can get sh*t done We can audit your business, your concept, your copy, your offers, your website, your newsletter, your email marketing, your automations, or...
3 days ago • 2 min read
Welp, cut my finger off! Not entirely, but enough to tell you I DID NOT PASS OUT FROM THE SPURTING BLOOD 🩸, however I might have if my neighbor, Katelyn, didn't come speeding toward the farmhouse at 90 mph in her husband's black pickup truck, because she literally thought we were going to have to put a piece of it on ice. This is what I get for trying to eat healthy. The day was off to a good start, I tell you. A good start! Went to state park. Took hike. Squished through mud. Was feeling all...
14 days ago • 6 min read
The VERY special ✨...Super duper 💪Neon effervescent 🌈...Big, giant, fantastic pre-order package 📦 is now *OPEN* for my new book——HOUSE SH*T FOR MORTALS——with a never-seen-before twist! 🌪️ I could have just opened pre-orders for the book . . . and been boring about it. 😲I could have just offered some kind of meh, scalable pre-order bonus. . . like is standard.I could have just showed up with the energy of a corrugated cardboard box . . . (you know the kind).I could have just done things the...
19 days ago • 5 min read
Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok— IT'S HERE! 🌈 THE ANNOUNCEMENT, PART ONE. Before I do the big reveal (she says while tossing back her hair like a 1920s shop girl), I should say that you *probably* know the story already, right? You probably know that, in 2023, I lost my mind and decided that I, someone who had been a digital nomad living around the world for the past 20 years—and who knew nothing about being "domestic," especially if cooking was involved—should buy...
24 days ago • 5 min read
Of COURSE the power had to go out yesterday! Of COURSE there was a storm. OF COURSE the dead Ash trees fell on the lines. (No relation.) Of COURSE it was on the day I was announcing something very, very exciting. OF COURSE the power is still out. 😲 Estimated restoration time is this afternoon—— Therefore (she says with the deep voice of a British soldier from the 1920's)—— ———My big, fat Clydesdale horse of an announcement shall be arriving plumply in your inbox by tomorrow morning. 🌈 Come...
25 days ago • 1 min read
Fuawwkkk. I could cry. I might cry. One of my students just sent me an email. And, in the email, she told me that her husband, a CNC Operator in blue collar Pennsylvania, used my creative writing techniques to completely makeover his resume + cover letter for a big-swing interview for a supervisor position. Before, it was full of stereotypical company jargon and clichés. But after, she said—her words—"his final draft was pure gold." I WILL SERIOUSLY LOSE MY MIND IF HE GETS THE JOB. The email...
27 days ago • 1 min read
Ugh, I can't believe it happened: One of the cool neighbors finally stopped by the other day to see the cottage renovations—he has a historic preservation company in Philly but owns the old creamery building near the farmhouse—and do you know what I had????????? DO YOU KNOW ALL I FREAKIN' HAD IN THE FRIDGE?????? Was leftover Busch Light from the beer drinkers two weeks ago! 🙈 Busch Light, you guys. Busch LIGHT. Of all the times to not have a carmenere on hand??? Or a bottle of bubbles? Or a...
28 days ago • 4 min read
Was just in NYC. 🗽 Thought a lot about money. Thought a lot about creativity. Thought a lot about how to have both. (I also thought A LOT about feces on the Subway. Here's me, hanging onto the grab bars with my sweatshirt wrapped around my hand. Has the pandemic ruined me forever?!) Walked by this sensational shoe store in DUMBO, where the maker writes on the bottom of your shoes, and I wanted to f**king cheer. THIS IS WHAT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. No one makes anyone *feel...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Oh my god, please somebody NEVER LET ME NEAR A CAN OF YELLOW PAINT AGAIN. It's Friday, and you know what I do every Friday morning like an absolute mummified goblin? I wake up real real real early and paint. Not, like, on paper. You'd go blind. But, like, a room in the farmhouse or the cottage. And this morning? I was desperate to re-paint the downstairs bathroom, because people are coming over tonight. (Which reminds me, shit, need to order Instacart. Snacky things. But nothing too...
about 2 months ago • 4 min read