Finally got a webcam that doesn't make me look like I'm starring on a sitcom from 1982.

(Though I literally have crimped hair right now, so maybe I AM starring on a sitcom from 1982???????)

Shot on this camera, mid-lesson in Claude for Business Owners. Unedited.

The camera is 4K cool kid cool and makes you seem like you allllllmost have a DSLR set up even though you definitely don't because that requires all sorts of things like "capture cards," "continuous power supplies," and "HDMIs that fit the teeny, tiny hole." Don't say anything. We're leaving it at that.

You know what else makes this camera look DSLR-adjacent? The fact that you can add a natural bokeh effect in the background that doesn't look like you're smoking dope inside a cumulus cloud. First time I have seen this! Usually, any sort of blur of the background makes me think you are a serial killer. A sloppy one. With open cereal boxes in the background. Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs. Very serial killer-ey.

What I really like about this camera, however, is you can make it follow you around the room ("tracking") (also very serial killer-ey), which basically means that any day now I'll be launching my cooking show. We'll call it: "Probably Don't Eat That." And it will just be me adding hot sauce to everything. (Note: The one thing I refuse to put hot sauce on is scrambled eggs. Don't like it! Won't do it! Don't do breakfast burritos, either. Clearly invented by Big Tortilla to sell more tortillas. WELL, I WILL NOT BE FOOLED.)

Stop distracting me with food!

We are here to talk about webcams!

Because this one makes my skin look like the milk of a goat. There's a beautify mode which is great when your dermatologist informs you that you have "adult onset rosacea." As if you actually have "adult onset rosacea." It's just the glow of the perpetual existential crisis you've been having since you were twenty-four.

ANYWAY.

Here is the camera (the Insta360 Link Pro).

You should probably have this camera.

Then again, if Zoom blew up and nobody could ever get on another video call again, wouldn't you be thrilled??? Thrilled! You'd be parading in the streets! The only reason I have it is because I teach classes on the internet and that means I must teach ZE THINGS, and that means I must be on ZE CAMERA.

By the way, Claude for Business Owners is going swimmingly!

You can still join, by the way, the first three modules are live. 🎥

I promise I didn't put hot sauce on them.

Other things I should mention since this seems like a product review? Am I writing product reviews now? Am I the internet Christopher Columbus, sailing these digital ocean seas?!

Things I like:

• You can Zoom out on yourself so you don't look like a gorilla
• You can adjust the camera lens down or up or left or right like a joystick, so you don't have to stack seven interior design books underneath the computer just to get to eye level (and avoid all the chins when it's, ahem, a little low 👀)
• You can also tilt it REALLY, REALLY DOWN and have it film whatever you're doing at your desk! Like if you do calligraphy or something! Or want to cut your cuticles live! Feels like it needs an exclamation!
• The software to run it is actually user friendly and modern, unlike Logitech's, which reminds me of a printer app from the 90s (where! is! this! so! called! driver!)
• Obviously the serial killer tracking
• There are hand gestures. Start tracking. Stop tracking. Zoom in. Zoom out. Hug me. Punish me.
• You can mount it on a stick or a tripod, too, and look exactly like a tourist in Venice. (No, but really. Webcams aren't cool, but portable "creator cams" definitely are.)
• There's a built-in microphone that sounds wayyyyyyyyyy better, louder, clearer than your standard Macbook mic. Money.

Things I like less:

• I noticed the microphone picks up all of my mouth breathing and plosives 🤣 Definitely needs a pop filter. In this case, probably would recommend just getting yourself a legit podcasting mic to pair with the camera. (This Rode podcasting mic has been my favorite for years—it gives great professional sound—but I recently broke mine, lol, so now I'm trying out this one that people rave about because it comes with auto leveling mode which apparently makes you sound like Morgan Freeman Lite™.)
• This isn't really a criticism of the camera, but worth noting: in order to record in 4K (the whole point), you need two things:
  • A computer with enough processing power to handle 4K video (my Macbook Air that I use for traveling is pussssshing it—the Macbook Pro is what I'd definitely recommend—but if you're upgrading, wait until the end of October: Apple is reportedly coming out with a new Macbook Pro that's lighter (thank god) and has a touchscreen. 🤫).
  • A recording app that supports 4K capture. (Otherwise you'll automatically be bumped down to 1080p like a peasant.) I really, really, really like Riverside. Descript also supports 4K recording, as does Loom.

All in all (that's what reviewers say, right?), this camera gets my "Non-Suck Seal of Approval."

Mostly because it does exactly what webcams should: make you look like a million bucks without making you go to school to be a video editor.

It's weird it took so long to get to this point.

But, it's also proof that sometimes, the best business plan is to simply find the problem everyone's been grumbling about for ten years, and fix it.

The breakfast burrito, however, remains a scam.

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