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It's the weeeeeeekend! And, it's ze perfect time for: Cutting your toenails Finding a VCR to play back your dance recital from the 80s 🧑🩰 Dusting exactly one shelf Making a strong-ass pitcher of margaritas Andddddd! Waking up early tomorrow morning and busting out a supercool new website for yourself that looks like it's actually THE YEAR 2026 and WILL SELL YOUR STUFF FASTER THAN A VAT OF VERMONT CREAMY CULTURED SEA SALT BUTTER 🧈 BECAUSE PEOPLE ACTUALLY TRUST THAT YOU ARE A REAL, LEGITIMATE...
Yesterday I stopped in a General Store—like, a real live General Store—and I bought a coffee and the bill was $3.16 and I handed the girl $4, and then she gave me a dollar back and said: "I'll just take the sixteen cents from the penny dish. Have a nice day!" And I looked at her like she had just flashed me. 👀 I had forgotten how things were around here. It's an innocence. Even though she probably thought I was just some jabroni from New Jersey (I wear black in extreme proportions), her...
It's the age-old question: What should I write in my emails? And, I have a freaky new answer. But first, let's back this beef train up. 🚃 Last week, I told Claude to check my email every hour and ping me about any important emails that would benefit from an immediate reply. My literary agent writes me, for example. Or a journalist wants to interview me. Or a client is having an issue. Or I've received an invitation from Phil Rosenthal to come hang out with him in New York. (Dreams, bitches.)...